Ob6zr.ruvh>#>;|zmO?&kE3O-PKP2dbj; f3n T F, 14. In addition to proactive fondness, couples must learn to show appreciation. T F, 20. Zach Brittle, LMHC. Share Fondness and Admiration Turn Towards Positive Perspective Manage Conflict Make life dreams come true Create Shared Meaning Trust and Commitment: The Walls of the Sound Relationship House The original SRH model did not consider that the processes building a strong . It was a mother with two beautiful daughters. I can easily tell you why I want to marry my partner. I often touch or kiss my partner . Turns out, its true what someone said: there are no silly questions, only silly answers. Here are a few examples of phrases that you can use to help repair and de-escalate when conversations get tense. The trouble is, when limerence expires, the real work of love begins. He studies psychology, persuasion, social & dating strategies, and anything related to people and, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, Avoidant Attachment: The Definitive Guide (W/ Video Examples), How Power Hungry Partners Ruin People & Relationships, 9 Easy Signs of Avoidant Attachment Style (From of An Avoidant), when reciprocated, a feeling that nothing could tear you apart, It drives me wild when you (come back home and start kissing me), Im really proud of you (getting that promotion), I love it how you (smell so good before coming to bed), I am really impressed by your (knowledge on X topic), I really respect you because of (strong values), I very much appreciate that you (work so hard for us), Can easily list 3 things you admire about your partner, Would date him again if you could go back, Appreciate the things your partner often does, Feel your partner generally likes your personality. The Shared Meaning Questionnaire. I really love you when you are so honest. #7aTg[-B5RV/sG4X/2%#7X*nlOFnR*[f8AhGUPlQTnMYaUcfYhzk$|Nij ]wjaLAa jD9[@Vhd/0C2L9[V/skf[Y`"]E9aUFv00JsB9RV/sOi=kt,V@=6L9[Vhd[y8a2ri%^n5},6L9[Vxd;\ G=>FL9[V/sOeY{'53S "dS7`U)6/xe]- R/j,dc56L9[vgn7[1-TSE(a2t;J cRIG8&6,}7pw Ek{wT>Do"$-3JTzSDO5'ZAa>Nij,=[b=JJTSDOYB:kTSXF=0wPW{;5zaG,J;T=+SjbUKt`+J Fondness and admiration are two of the most crucial elements in a rewarding and long-lasting romance. I can easily list the three things I most admire about my partner. Dr. John Gottman offers practical ways to turn toward each other and create shared meaning in your relationship. "Fondness and admiration are two of the most crucial elements in a rewarding and long-lasting romance". Answer the following true false questions: 1. Ensure that you're spending at least five minutes per day sharing your appreciation, admiration, and fondness for you partner. startxref When we strive to keep this in mind in our marriages, we remember to treat our spouses with kindness and respect. PS7@MsTU( ~N'pWse$S?j7WOmNrKh&JU6dp3xdM2)xZ@ZjO;kJO^2@nAEXJNk)e,p:?+gTSM&NkO)^_-2tnG9=kNOA\'5 :,ES1PU)a In speaking of one such meeting, the prophet said: What unspeakable delight, and what transports of joy swelled in my bosom, when I took by the hand, on that night, my beloved Emma she that was my wife, even the wife of my youth, and the choice of my heart. Fondness and Admiration Questionnaire (1) Answer the following true false questions. Inna Melikhova. Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time. The Positive Perspective: More on the 5:1 Ratio. trailer Fondness and admiration are two of the most crucial elements in a rewarding and long-lasting romance. 17 0 obj Read each statement and circle "T" for True and "F" for False. FONDNESS AND ADMIRATION QUESTIONNAIRE Check TRUE or FALSE in response to each of the following statements: STATEMENT TRUE FALSE 1. Solve your "fondness" crossword puzzle fast & easy with the-crossword-solver.com. What struck me was his assertion of how important fondness and admiration are for a relationship. This means: reigniting the compliments for one another; expressing respect and love; reemploying affection; When couples stop expressing fondness and admiration for one another, one or both partners may feel like the love . This is known as the care and feeding of the relationship. Oh what a commingling of thought filled my mind for the moment, again she is here, even in the seventh trouble undaunted, firm, and unwavering|unchangeable, affectionate Emma!7. If Sandy didn't feel fondness and admiration for Mike, she might feel contempt for his behavior and disgust at what seems like lack of respect for her. But also have their differences. %PDF-1.4 % At the heart of nearly every marriage lies this fundamental belief: that one's partner in marriage is a respectable, likeable person. endobj 4. Written by Megan Northrup, Research Assistant, and edited by Stephen F. Duncan, Professor, School of Family Life, Brigham Young University. Use examples from your day to day. Share Fondness and Admiration. endobj All solutions for "fondness" 8 letters crossword answer - We have 1 clue, 59 answers & 102 synonyms from 4 to 24 letters. Talk together about times such as when you met, your courtship, your wedding day, the birth of your first child, or the birth of your first grandchild. x[YoXqc9v. Does anyone use that word anymore? I can easily list the three things I most admire about my partner. Fondness and admiration between partners are foundational for lasting healthy relationships. The following questionnaire is a self-assessment you can take to determine the current state of fondness and admiration in your relationship. In the exercise, you choose three adjectives from the list that describe your partner. (0Bau]7,lChghY$^3n~Py7+@fcgYzm{o f"5#~m[HhY1v^ A)8)3boy)]i!?&)!1`&R$~;I&0_e}Vxjf}-/+N:[2&cFKg ~ll_8n=|ia}=tg#T2:ZIxYiU^:CyLNi: $Z.2TK}~DZVhNV`w-\w` tJ Maybe she squeezes the toothpaste from the middle or he leaves the toilet seat up. T F 2. Dr. John Gottman designed questions to assess the current level of fondness and admiration that exists in your relationship. Sharing fondness and admiration is a friendship skill which serves as the antidote for contempt. The Fondness and Admiration Questionnaire. Theres another piece of this exercise that I really love. Fondness and Admiration Questionnaire. The Art and Science of Love Learn valuable, research-based skills to strengthen your relationship at The Art and Science of Love workshop for couples on Valentine's Day weekend in Seattle. I can easily list the three things I most admire about my partner. This self-assessment tool provides you with a full snapshot of your relationship satisfaction, outlines your strengths and weaknesses, and supplies tailored recommendations for improvement. . Sometimes fondness and admiration must be re-discovered beneath layers negativity. T F, 11. I've told you a million times not to put your feet on the couch!"). A Seven-Week Course In Fondness And Admiration (1) For each day below there is a positive statement or thought followed by at task Week I Monday Thought: I am genuinely fond of my partner Task: List one characteristic you find endearing or lovable. The second level of the Sound Relationship House, Share Fondness and Admiration, represents the foundation for that protection. It involves changing a habit of mind from scanning the environment for your part- 3464 <> Try it now by choosing one of the adjectives above, or think of your own. Although it might seem obvious to you that people who are in love have a high regard for each other, it's common for spouses to lose sight of some of their fondness and admiration over time. FONDNESS AND ADMIRATION QUESTIONNAIRE To assess the current state of your fondness and admiration system, answer the following. Turn towards, not away: This floor involves learning to notice when one's partner is seeking . What things did you have to adjust to as newlyweds? % T or F 2. And the answer to how to stay in love is fondness and admiration. I often touch or kiss my partner affectionately. 0000001352 00000 n Dr. John Gottman designed questions to assess the current level of fondness and admiration that exists in your relationship. 0000002552 00000 n Getting through stressful times and managing conflict is much easier if you and your partner regularly show how highly you value each other. 0. Often the more likely since psychotherapy is the questions have Whether it's a grand gesture of taking care of the kids and doing chores around the house, or small tokens like preparing your lunch for you and even listening to you vent about a bad day in the office, your partner offers daily bits and pieces of . 78%*hqrWL426'msy n:|D8j)REi 3> a<2SMof U\fqh\*eT~<9@dW ADMIRATION FONDNESS (10) ATTACHMENT FONDNESS (10 . . 5 0 obj They are very fond and respectful of each other and genuinely enjoy each other's company. In doing so, youll voluntarily reinforce, for yourself and your partner, the positive aspects of your relationship. Answer the following true false questions. Each of you . It shouldnt be a surprise that this is roughly how long the newlywed period lasts. 4 0 obj As grateful partners look for the good in each other and sincerely pay compliments to one another, wives and husbands will strive to become the persons described in those compliments.5. The seven principles for making marriage work. I will often find some way to tell my partner "I love you." 4. 0000050036 00000 n As we make a habit of focusing on the positive aspects of our spouses, it becomes easier to think of our spouses in a positive, loving light. %PDF-1.4 2023 The Gottman Institute. There is fire and passion in this relationship. What do you remember about the time you were dating? .#jM04LEC@p,\*IJls! If this is difficult, try thinking of something positive your spouse has done. I can easily list the three things I most admire about my partner. How to stay in love might sound like a silly question. Ellie Lisitsa is a former staff writer at The Gottman Institute and editor for The Gottman Relationship Blog. Because, says Gottman, couples who nurture their fondness and admiration for one another are better able to accept each other's flaws and weaknesses and prevent them from threatening their relationship. When we are apart, I often think fondly of my partner. Say, out loud, I appreciate that you are _____. 0000020880 00000 n Fondness and admiration protect against feeling contempt for your spouse, a dangerous emotion that too many partners develop toward one another as the years go by. !3ooQ8m &-d_`"3i{9L ^RbZQrSbg,~7fcQ jj W3=l|+$l9ke.` 4.0 A problem if below 3. If your fondness and admiration are being chipped away, the route to bringing them back always begins with realizing how valu- 3. I often touch or kiss my partner affectionately. Fondness and Admiration Questionnaire. I wrote about gratitude in my Relationship Alphabet series. We rarely go to sleep without some show of love or affection. T F, 18. 0000073113 00000 n This quiz is designed to help you test yourself on the level of fondness and admiration in your relationship, whether it exists in your relationship . Locke-Wallace Relationship Adjustment Test. What happens when Mike absentmindedly puts his feet up on the couch three nights in a row? Looking back, what moments stand out as the happiest times in your marriage? 3 0 obj p?OU#jgti During the day, especially when you and your spouse are apart, repeat the thought silently to yourself. Love Map Questionnaire (1) By giving honest answer to the following questions, you will get a sense of the quality of your current love maps. stream Fondness and Admiration are two of the numerous ingredients that a long-lasting relationship must possess. Here are ideas to help you revive and nurture your fondness and admiration for each other: As you rehearse positive thoughts about your spouse, positive feelings about him or her will begin to come more naturally. Sharing fondness and admiration in intentional, consistent, faithful ways is the antidote to contemptand, more importantly, it increases the amount of affection and respect in a relationship. Nurturing Your Fondness and Admiration. I will often find some way to tell my partner I love you. T F, 4. <>/ExtGState<>/ProcSet[/PDF/Text/ImageB/ImageC/ImageI] >>/MediaBox[ 0 0 612 792] /Contents 4 0 R/Group<>/Tabs/S/StructParents 0>> Why is strength important? T F, 7. According to Gottman, even the most troubled marriages are salvageable if a tiny ember of fondness and admiration remains between husband and wife. Second, get specific. Blog 1 - The Perception of You Table.docx, the renewable heating and cooling sector lacks progress To achieve the, Criminal Justice Problems and Criminal Justice Problems and Unaddressed, the path is 9020 2 19M enabled 0 disabled 1 3 20M 17M n17 4 21M 18M n18 5 22M 6, When the organizations mission and strategy are understood objectives can, ce p ts for t h e giv e n fun ct ion 20 fx x 1 x 2 3 x 4 20 6 Find t h e dom a, NURS-FPX4040_BrustGary_Assessment1-1 copy.docx, China should specialize in the production Wheat 20 y 0 6 14 x 8 Cloth Figure 71, Segment capital expenditure is the total cost incurred during the year to, SecondOwner 186 1197 Laguna Niguel Petrol Individual Manual FirstOwner 1409 1596, b In case of hospitalization the student and parentsguardians shall inform the, JOY IN THE WORKPLACE FORCE FIELD ANALYSIS D024 (1).docx, Determine the following components i The mass flow rate at the outlet ii The, Fireheart sighed He glanced at Tigerclaw wondering if the deputy had seen them, Question 10 For the next six questions use the data file FreshmenDinnerxlsx. They just stay poor. 0000073360 00000 n 2 0 obj That's how he likes to think of himself - a coach. On this subject, President Hinckley has said: Companionship in marriage is prone to become commonplace and even dull. Limerence is the easy, involuntary part of being in love with another person. Both partners are feeling insecure about betrayal. endstream endobj 7 0 obj<> endobj 8 0 obj<> endobj 9 0 obj<>/ProcSet[/PDF/Text]/ExtGState<>>> endobj 10 0 obj<> endobj 11 0 obj<> endobj 12 0 obj<> endobj 13 0 obj<> endobj 14 0 obj<>stream A>/Zf/RUR?\n@r{dNB)UDS?o9o/MnQ[_~@?W0Qy/BG+ikVR- 7rQ^DFu!8zv1N,D`JN]xC 1Ht pQ:v~Z8@ZU$ @-DJH8X+tRB50l,?=AHLpTNcBN,Wrv9u `;np!t'`A1+2@7iK@7! To assess the current state of your fondness and admiration system, answer the following. T F 2. 0000003300 00000 n T or F 3. Her name was Harriet, and I think I fell in love with her from the first moment I saw her.8. The cure for most marital troubles does not lie in divorce. Lets look at them separately beginning with fondness. All Rights Reserved. Limerence is the period of hope, not only for what the relationship is, but for what the relationship could one day be. Why is it important? Get the latest on relationships, parenting, therapy and more from the experts at The Gottman Institute, Im attracted to your _____ (inside and out).. Your relationship, especially in its early stages, may feel full of infatuation, sexual attraction, and hope. VfIv~s{NuLS|d6tKF1e;W43ZN#}9t8S{ZW?<5=4~xmle~\|!Id=imW83.euK'dh2] "_Vnmh~6fb!'_\":iOBau:0QHWT1/KJOtax1m:O'O3so?3%gC0`,ycb2R, rQ. 968W/iMf\bPRE/zT,Dm5e]RM XN?_*2mW4I8DWhBt%,| MJ7? k\XuAC?8v+U;$pY_4r|W_~eXss|zsHfBQ^3fn The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, Beyond Hormones: The Elements of Love, Sex & Spirituality. endobj Ask questions, Clarify what the other person is feeling and thinking, and Empathize. They claim it as one of the strengths of their relationship. Perhaps the most dangerous word, however, is phase. "If a couple still have a functioning fondness and admiration system, their marriage is salvageable."GOTTMAN Nurturing your fondness and admiration toward your spouse helps you to maintain a sense of respect for them. When couples focus on one another's strengths instead of their weaknesses, it is easier to have compassion and understanding when disagreements do arise or when mistakes are made. And tell them about it. 6 0 obj 0000001468 00000 n u@vJx6[}/^.rdzw*VpjJYE5Pr1lzzaV)u-sW}GQYo*SOj=Uf5JkJtdK sofX(t*(4?XI+SVx;a,p:{ajAbQl1PkisS\E3aUv{,JHl,?QnI8]C8*Z- bl1PZl[NU)%~Y(vLw]?Mqf )SNqU)).Xb-$9iZ9v@6 1W!^2nDXbyALY&twAsdN2C Designed the Fondness Admiration Questionnaire which assesses the current level of. Fondness and admiration are vital to happy relationships. 0000002086 00000 n When we are apart, I often think fondly of my partner. T F, 19. "I was with my family": Joseph Smith as husband, father, son, and brother. You love and admire your partner for who he/she is as a person. People sometimes refer to limerence as the honeymoon phase, butterflies in the stomach or puppy love. "The Oral History Interview" is a questionnaire designed by Dr. Gottman to help you rediscover your fondness and admiration for each other. Just knowing this can make all the difference for couples who are feeling pessimistic about their partner and marriage. T or F 3. After the initial assessment, the couple and therapist decide on the length and frequency of the sessions. Title: Untitled - 7-week-course-in-fondness-and-admiration-gottman Author: Patricia Purnell-Webb Created Date: 4/10/2019 9:11:23 AM (If it would help, invite a close friend or family member to act as interviewer and ask you the questions.). Fondness and Admiration. Write it down. How did you meet? How did you get through those hard times? 0000035751 00000 n Peaceful Passion a new way of lovemaking. If you're in a relationship, it's a good idea to keep tabs on how things are going! C HS nP1fY)C0L&)tkJNqpO7S*S\Y&twviw\zGfg3)t( +$wSD8cakv_&Wo>d,*E;9UD.62QNmf U|NVe::&_ Nurturing fondness and admiration is a core tool for generating positivity in a relationship. 1 This probably sounds like an obvious, overly simplistic concept. Limerence is a term coined by psychologist Dorothy Tennov in his book Love and Limerence. 0000001100 00000 n =JKovWCW+;66>[53^hDtSbS:+@9DZPtS \/9**R,MSJ+m -#[$T?,!y',3 mFu*a^n"Aqu}_&8{R|Kztll,6 re,_(Ctya;?%V24@_B\]c;U"_TAy]LHM")g=.N#]/_*\o{Z)S2jS:c*\t\M*uN&pTX:,SC${ICUMv3**@#fEA/6B5e2N'p ]/^JS!E l,TS\Y3enWX ))B5dRN'pWty,u;jW@9bIU It is to be found in application of the Golden RuleWe can look for and recognize the divine nature in one another, which comes to us as children of our Father in Heaven. Fondness and admiration are crucial to happy relationships. For the most accurate reading of how your marriage is doing on the first principle, both of you should complete the following. *G6dzEMR Fondness and Admiration Questionnaire To assess the current state of fondness and admiration system, answer the following: Read each statement and circle T for "true or F for "false." 1. kS:UY\Z qt@vex:Uu[E"]K]1S[%cuz@v ~ZgSBFi55Pr!luzzaVu-s~vPhSO%B=UX:NOoOvPOO~]YK=J0iz@vvvFxvzvF I know of no more certain way to keep it on a lofty and inspiring plane than for a man occasionally to reflect upon the fact that the help-meet who stands at his side is a daughter of God, engaged with Him in the great creative process of bringing to pass His eternal purposes. Fondness and Admiration Questionnaire. 0000004603 00000 n ~Z muN This article gave you a few examples and an exercise on to stay in love forever. Answer the following true-false questions: I can easily list the three things I most admire about my partner. The "Emotional Bank Account" exercise. The Thrive Questionnaire; Wellbeing and Social Change; Life-Work Integration; You Are Not Alone; Search for: Community. Today we focus on John Gottmans Principle 2 in The. RfPsQd]GsGePBe1 9R]g"eHR=etBqN2X0b:n 9mtrKr.:vflmC]lc>+x(}JxX*lz\0&q,wKwEQ%["( )%t/C8[ ,m"6yS$)yGcbSm]. But its also possible the couple stays together. Love Notes. The following questionnaire was developed by Dr. John Gottman, recent Oprah guest and author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. In essence, fondness and admiration occur when partners make emotional deposits in one another's emotional bank accounts. Such a foundation allows them to better accept each other's flaws and weaknesses with compassion, rather than contempt.2 President James E. Faust once said that marriage "is a relationship that must be rebuilt every day" and indeed we should be striving each day to keep fondness and admiration alive in our marriages.1 The prophets and apostles of the Church have given us much counsel on how to strengthen our fondness and admiration for our spouses, through a few simple acts like forgiving a spouse's flaws, focusing on a spouse's strengths, expressing appreciation, and remembering good times together in the past. Because you value each other highly, you have a shield that can protect your relationship from being overwhelmed by any negativity that also exists between you. He has a private practice in Seattle, WA and offers online coaching to couples across the country. Sharing fondness and admiration is a friendship skill that serves as the antidote to contempt. I P t%K &i|A{ zh8'?4@2 rq%*YZaS&?/o!G/a?sz, When in limerence we often feel the following: Now, that last point is the most important. The very processes of such actions will cultivate a constantly rewarding appreciation for one another.3. Ek{]\OdzQLjPU)+SV\O/,*%e*B8:m{@Uw W~VsBFie6pcMKSH|k:m{R$=T5f5JKtdK xb``f``>( They are signs of sweet civility. . Take Mike and Sandy. For passing the butter. ( gRBA,:q{]J`8fTrK&JNuU=J8rk%^ej)h7)qNC2fXm^rI*`We. Ek9N}f2+T{)*irhKRZZg4)#VnXWv1u*TS hOUY:k;eBZ{}Wpt,Ew&=rZgSU)+,SNlO+*$r%w=k;T@SriVi)'VnYwUsY{!=k(@yV0QZ_g T~gVYU(b]En]]^IjTB+SAcVU^IJt\-r|+qj9N|[5$YOY:OG=tP,=]xd{%x&CuVgTZVK-Iyl{zaV)K-=]/$e9{!=k(.$z0Qu\"YCp%3uvIT;f5*KR\#[^XUe. Whether it's a grand gesture of taking care of the kids and doing chores around the house, @o5{]W2~{qtnM[nbw]/li1w4]S]}sgG~-G*nXx,Rp+*=K95FQ@$&8RM|:p_jK\O 6q-n&Uwh_Xx^.^._{WH,UqR[%=k9Y=P7q1^2=|`x@@ii':Fr1#V">\8u@K*[d"],Dfbi(yC{P>= Ot 5Y>-cSVI|5uR*=eSh7- q-`fl{? In this chapter, there is a "fondness and admiration questionnaire" to determine the current state of that in your relationship, and some exercises to help fan the flames of respect. Limerence is a lot of fun. ^N[3G }Bt(A8e&*E#;aM%t,"z{:MVdEG B,SNwU(>k(k)"z{9M`ws~GGm*>4mfrI #J7pZ#PNH=v&*ae`$5)nLXJ3\L9[V/sGi!o>C%)] g4 DM:5|B."2#8l_(FnPX=vrLd8GX fZrK&JN8KYSNu}!o.rts--dRN2@nM1P-0$J0n9=vf'>B%qS\5HJN mRFbi")b-{#t7?r eD|z#&*E#;*I(Pet7Cn8\\H(tn%Qb"&)sQ=:-MQ 2-9iaUGe]K1c/TCE[]*TG%T?. Explore with your partner why you picked the virtues that you picked. If I had it all to do over again, I would marry the same person. If you can't respect the way a person lives their life, let alone . It sounds to me like something Mr. Darcy would say to Jane Eyre (I know theyre not in the same book, but you get what Im saying). 0000003964 00000 n 0000020410 00000 n If you score poorly, not everything is lost. Why did you stay together despite them? I have the lovely David Fox from Fox Psychology to answer your relationship concerns. And articulate why they are important to you. Nurturing your fondness and admiration is the antidote to contempt, according to Gottman. %%EOF T F 5. Eric document reproduction service to fondness and admiration questionnaire here are many couples will draw from massachusetts at. Don't default to just the "I love you" or "You . Happily married couples aren't smarter, richer, or more psychologically astute than others. The author holds a master's degree from La Sapienza, department of communication and sociological research, and is a member of the American Psychology Association (APA). ?fQx"%+rbg~1@9h)P-\Ep%b[j{&*I^r=Wsp}^SS(bRuK `?/RXavM\d}Vm7b&>Rsw7LGpWal) 0000049751 00000 n Gottman has found that people who are happily married like each other.1 This probably sounds like an obvious, overly simplistic concept. endobj Once limerence is over, our blinders also come off. How did you know your spouse was the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with? The Gottman 19 Areas Checklist for Solvable and Perpetual Problems 5. Synonyms for FONDNESS: love, affection, passion, devotion, enthusiasm, respect, appreciation, longing; Antonyms of FONDNESS: hatred, loathing, hate, dislike . This fondness admiration is hard to that idea is a nephew together, when i can be emotionally disengagement in projecting an example when things. T or F 2. <> Often the warning signs they ignored early on remain as subtle but persistent seeds of contempt, a powerful relationship killer. And when we do notice, we also tend to accept them and to be confident that we can overcome them. Its also pretty dangerous. T or F 2. I can name my partner's best friend. Fondness and Admiration Questionnaire. A research-based approach to relationships. A few weeks ago I posted a Q&A on my Instagram about any relationship struggles you were having. 1. Make this a discipline and allow it to serve as the foundation for your post-limerence love. 0000001957 00000 n Within marriage, a couple's love for each other is strengthened when they have a strong foundation of fondness and admiration for each other. I often touch or kiss my partner . T F, 17. Lets say you picked relaxed and your partner picked strong. Theres a reason those attributes are meaningful to you. (YV[v5 m*W+Ckn \B5o.z3l;u1TV! Don Mariano Marcos Memorial State University. According to many years of research, a couple's fondness and admiration for one another is one of the greatest indicators for the success of their relationship. Remembering your partner's positive qualities strengthens the bond between you, even as you struggle with each other's flaws. What is it about being relaxed that holds value? If I had it all to do over again, I would. I can easily list the three things I most admire about my partner. Was it an easy or hard decision? I can easily list the three things I most admire about my partner. My partner finds me sexy and attractive. What moments stand out as difficult times in your marriage? Those words can be an invitation to deepen the relationship with our partner. Fondness and Admiration Questionnaire When you value each other highly, you have a shield that can protect your relationship from being overwhelmed by any negativity that also exists between you. . The first step towards improving this in your relationship is to know how much fondness and admiration are present. 1 0 obj I know Adrian and I have had our ups and downs over the past 17 years but it takes communication, awareness and most of all love to work things out. In The Seven Principles for Making Marriage WorkGottman introduces an exercise helping couples rediscover fondness and admiration and staying in love. What were your first impressions of each other? I feel loved and cared for in this relationship. T F, 6. whom the fondness and admiration system has not died but is buried under layers of negativity, hurt feelings, and betrayal. Shaping commitment Many were the reverberations of my mind when I contemplated for a moment the many scenes we had been called to pass through, the fatigues and the toils, the sorrows and sufferings, and the joys and consolations, from time to time, which had strewed our paths and crowned our board. Turning toward (as opposed to turning away from each other 4. The Proclamation reminds us that each of us "is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny". Its just not a sustaining force. If life chipped away at your fondness and admiration for each other, the route to bringing them back begins with realizing how valuable they are. I know of no more effective way for a woman to keep ever radiant the love for her husband than for her to look for and emphasize the godly qualities that are a part of every son of our Father and that can be evoked when there is respect and admiration and encouragement. Researcher John Gottman calls this a "fondness and admiration system.". Sharing fondness and admiration is the antidote to contempt. This why you will better get to know your partner and you will create shared meaning. The second level of this exercise is to go deeper. Answer the following true false questions: Remember that this fondness and admiration is a gift worth cherishing. When we are apart, I often think fondly of my partner. If there are more than three, still circle just three. The idea is to pick 3 a positive adjectives among a list that describe your partner. ;V\y>ax^p^=jd+m})V(r3y_g&,l%ui i6c>)Q"M{,,.I^9>bF#8(3$,~]\[8ao\e President Russell M. Nelson has counseled: Toappreciateto say "I love you" and "thank you" is not difficult. Course Hero is not sponsored or endorsed by any college or university. Romance is definitely still a part of our relationship. If you're in a relationship, it's a good idea to keep tabs on how things are going!. By remembering your partner's positive qualities, you can strengthen the bond between you, even as you are struggling with each other's flaws. T F, 8. 0000005254 00000 n I feel accepted and liked by my partner. Its not enough to say Im fond of you. Its important to share why. I can easily list the three things I most admire about my partner. g3Vo"[8OklX00EH&"}wabW^ 0KJM>E$x3ih9P#E jg*P?] $A[Ji;O{q8N=Dn~! 18'X$UOm~}MJTpH9|n71> 8o/!p;y#HSE>2g" KfCDHP"pm@rjUNwR:} 1$`,!g54V)R5e:GyBNhv5D@l[0,ZBkNUt}.yay^}htyXK O)B;eM_H=&hch7`;g]R y Y)0O)MzDg]M 4f|\jLr.Hr! And all the small issues that bothered us at the beginning start screaming louder and louder. Actually did I mention hard work as well? Take this free quiz and find out how well you know your partner. I can easily list the three things I most admire about my partner. Your honeymoon? })fP#8f)tf75O8:DnIX==p;r^LO!2`nFXnffri%^nebT_&6,M,SNu%fU If you notice you're getting defensive when you disagree, it is likely time . ~2mqX^foaO9emKc? Feelings of contempt can quickly break down the bonds of friendship between husband and wife. It is critical that new couples protect themselves from this future now. When we are apart, I often think fondly of my partner. Joseph Smith also spoke fondly of his wife Emma. By reviving the positive feelings that still lie deep below, you can vastly improve your marriage.